Fips

Dan's Novel

Chapter 1: Fip Research

Despite never rushing fips die first always
Fips are fearful of everything
Fips value every trap they survive and are always amazed at their luck
Fips can smell your HP bonus
Fips will only die if not carefuly kept track of by a guardian
Fips think they are good because they beat a map without ever activating a trap
Fips think platinum is a waste of money
Fips never complete a map
Fips like to be rick roll'd
Fips can't eat jam
Fips hate "Du Hast"
Fips tbag each other for their mating ritual
Fips would rather stop before a trap and make camp than continue and possibly die.
Fips always stare into other people's faces... Always...
Fips think platinum players were designed to sacrifice themselves for them.
Fips do not realize they are Fips.
Fips will not look at platinum players
Fips will ask "How 2 change model?" everytime they join.
Fips also ask how to add a trail to their character
Fips do not know how to request songs properly (always yelling)
Fips are afraid of the chatbox
Fips do not know how to mute songs
Fips do not know what fips are
Fips cannot afford platinum
Fips tend to type in capslock
Fips are fips
Fips join the server and ask where the store is and nothing else other than repeat that
Some fips cannot crouch jump (RARE!)
Fips request New Divide.

During my research of the fips I noticed that there seem to be different kinds of fips. I find the best way to organize fips is by color.

A Fip's color can be easily found by looking at the scoreboard

The most common color of fips is orange. These fips spend most of their time dead, yet somehow are able to revive themselves every few minutes.
The second most common fips is red, these fips seem to enjoy killing other fips, though sometimes they go slightly mad and randomly press shiny buttons.
A third a rather uncommon form if fip is the grey fip, these are the only known type of fip not terrified of the chat box. However they appear to be limited to the phrase "How do I spawn?"
The rarest fip and shortest lasting is the green fip. These fips are almost never observed in the wild, and when they are seen can usally be expected to mutate out of the fip species al together into a shiny.

Reserved for Zeke's research